Raum's Solution

Days pass into a week, Raum’s mind churning over these events all the while.

Between everyday adjustments into his new lifestyle, there linger three main issues, or three main pillars, that dominate his thoughts.

One is Desiree. Though a numb zen had insulated him from breakdown in the morgue, the first thing Raum did upon returning to the Whitewood Manor that day was lock himself in the bedroom, blast the ensuite shower at full heat, and scream into a pillow while seared under lashes of water. Then he wrenched the dial to freezing, just to shiver, cry, and bawl incoherently on the bed for straight hours. Entirely over Desiree.

To contemplate the feelings lingering after that initial burst makes him sick. Predominantly, there’s relief she can’t hurt anyone anymore, paired with overwhelming sadness that she died without ever becoming a person who didn’t hurt others. After that are truly disgusting feelings of joy and gratitude. Joy, because he loves being able to help her even posthumously with the gravesite business, and gratitude, for giving him a purpose and mission that holds like an anchor against these otherwise turbulent circumstances.

Truthfully the only thing keeping him stable is the recurring thought of “still gotta find a good spot for mom. I’ll focus on that for a bit."

As such he’s been travelling a lot around Ferendaux and its neighbouring towns, an enriching experience despite its grim underbelly.

Two is Aquila. Where to even begin.

Things have changed since that strained conversation — calling it an argument feels wrong, since they weren’t really at loggerheads — but pinpointing how, exactly, is hard.

To say Aquila’s been avoiding him is wrong, because he hasn’t. To say he’s acting totally businesslike is wrong, because he’s not. But to say he’s become overly attached or possessive is also wrong. It feels like Aquila will find reasons to willingly interact with Raum over broadly trivial things, entirely within Aquila’s personal convenience, but show utter disinterest and end conversations quickly if Raum is the one to start them.

It’s enough to drive Raum nuts. Especially when he tried to ascribe some calculated, mastermind reason to it. But this repeated exposure has led him to grasp a little more of Aquila, and the actual reason’s more simple. He’s just not over that conversation. And his way of dealing with ‘not being over’ things is just fucking bizarre.

Emotionally, he wants to punish Raum deeply. Rationally, he knows that’s stupid. Aquila’s rational side is stronger, so that’s the side that wins out. All the same, what soothes him is to put a knife to the throat of whatever bothers him, watch them tremble, then watch them go, “here’s fifty reasons why I still choose you." It’s not conscious at all.

Desiree was similar; Raum’s trained to indulge it. But Aquila’s version is colder, sharper, more intellectual, more detached, and does leave Raum with a more genuine fear that Aquila’s investment in him could one day randomly plummet to zero.

Especially since, that drama aside, Raum only realised after cooling down that, even if wanting information on Phoenix explains why Aquila would keep him around, it doesn’t explain why Aquila would make him heir to the whole fucking country. He just likes you that much! Hey, no, loverbrain, let’s not be so naive. Even if he does like you, he’s a rational fuck who needs actual reasons to justify doing things. You still don’t know what those reasons are, and yes, that is still scary.

Raum sighs. That gentle doting royal twink he crushed on won’t come back. He really popped Pandora’s Box with this guy.

But the only solution seems to be to follow Aquila’s cues, give him his space, and let him figure out what he thinks of Raum in his own time. Mindbendingly unnatural for Raum. Well, hey, still gotta find a good spot for mom…!

Three is, of course, Reyl. Raum has accepted that Aquila does not want Raum involving himself in finding her — or, well, Raum hasn’t accepted shit, but Aquila has seemed to judge his own methods as optimal, and those methods simply do not involve Raum. Given that Raum has no great ideas on how to flush her out either, he’s resigned that his suggestions are most likely annoyances Aquila’s already considered, and if there’s anything Aquila wants to know, or any use he does have for Raum, he’ll ask Raum about it himself.

That’s not to say Raum’s ignored the things he can do, limited though they may be. He’s continued his daily reports to Phoenix, knowing Reyl still has that radio, futzing information to bait her. But, as Aquila testified with his own baits, she hasn’t been taking it. And Aquila’s reported no progress even in Sebilles.

It’s frightening. Raum knows the city is big and Aquila’s not using much manpower, so combing it will take time. This does not quell his anxieties that something may have happened to her between Indris and Sebilles, that they missed her and she’s not in Sebilles, or, most frightening of all, that she is in Sebilles, but she’s hiding because she has a plan. What that plan would be, Raum hasn’t a clue, but something about the prospect fills Raum with a dreadful sense of foreboding.

Incidentally, Raum’s been avoiding information on witches. The second he recognised he was doing this, he found himself forced to resign that, no, he is not in any mind to personally face and apprehend her. Aquila’d been correct to take over.

…He’d been correct, but…

It’s terrifying how things haven’t been moving.

And there are still some contributions Raum can try before he starts tapdancing on Aquila’s feet. Rather, there’s one, specifically.

Phoenix is there in Sebilles. Why not ask him for help? Reyl will overhear if Raum talks on the radio, but if he can deliver a physical note…

And, you know, still gotta find a good spot for mom.

Let’s focus on Deram for a bit.

Raum travels the three days by carriage to the dusty desert town of Deram. Since the party for his slaying of Toreas, and formal announcement of Aquila’s heir, is approaching very soon, Raum can only stay a couple days before he must return to Ferendaux. But, a couple days should be enough.

As usual for these outings, Raum is joined by a bodyguard. Even he seems excited that Raum is going to Deram. He speaks with the same tone Raum’s been hearing every time he’s heard the word mentioned: intrigue, wonder, a little mystery… not that he’s heard it much, mind. People seem scared to talk about it, to the point Raum regrets not wheedling more out of the bold Baron.

What is the goddamn deal with Deram!

Well, that whole mystery’s something he can think about after he's finished his business. En route to Deram, Raum writes a letter asking that Phoenix himself comb through Sebilles for Reyl. Though Aquila knows about the trip and allowed it, had he known these were Raum's intentions, to meddle in his plans by involving Phoenix behind his back, he surely would have pulled the breaks... if not finally lost his patience, broken into Raum's closet, replaced all his shoes with cinderblocks, and invited him to go swimming.

Then again, it's doubtful Raum's cover story of looking for gravesites here is convincing, given the place is an arid desert, and not anything like a pretty meadow. Preferring not to examine this unnerving fact, Raum seals his note in its envelope. Fingers crossed, Aquila is too busy with his own business to care and will never find out. Besides, it's already questionable enough whether enlisting Phoenix will work to find Reyl anyway, much less whether Phoenix will even agree to hunt her at all.

With the letter itself written and sorted, now is to find some tight-lipped capable daredevil who doesn’t mind doing some courier work, who can sneak into the Cardinal House overnight and plant the thing where Phoenix will find it. With Reyl still suspected to be in Sebilles, Raum, of course, cannot do it.

Raum touches down at daybreak, checks in to his lodgings, then cycles through various community hotspots to advertise his job listing. Taverns, inns, town hall — it’s a small place, and word that some noble hotshot’s looking to hire spreads quickly. But nobody seems to care who he is, so much as they care that his clothes, bodyguard, grooming, and carriage confirm that he has a wallet.

With that, Raum retires to casually tour the town, having arranged to meet any interested parties around noon at the tavern. That should give his courier enough time to prepare and ride into Sebilles just around nightfall.

Otherwise, going by his wanderings through the streets and storefronts, there doesn’t seem to be anything odd about the place. A little stumped, he settles outside a cafe to chat over brunch with his bodyguard.

A jovial-looking man plops himself down at Raum’s table and says: I can get you to the portal.

Raum recognises instantly that this is a conman who means to mug him. While his bodyguard snaps at this stranger’s nerve, Raum makes a great show of contemplating, then says: Alright, and what do you get from that?

The con explains that he simply wants to do well by a nobleman. Establishing a debt, forging a bond with a rich and connected person, making an investment for the future. Such opportunities are rare in towns like this. And so on, and so on, paired with an admirably convincing performance that has surely caught people before. Veteran. Unsurprising if he’s targeting guarded nobles. No, what shocks Raum is the con’s hand signals.

Because they’re the exact same ones used in the Thorns. Raum can read them.

He’s telling some accomplice that Raum is hooked and to clear any eyes off their escort path. From what Raum squeezes out of the con, there is apparently an invisible portal in Deram to the place where all the world’s secrets are hidden. The con emphasises that by discovering this portal, then exploiting these secrets against rival families, and warning the King of nascent conspiracies, the lowborn Whitewoods clawed themselves onto the noble ladder in the first place. If Raum wants to seize comparable power for his own house, this is how.

Interesting. Though obviously this is a sell crafted to lure a specific kind of person, parts do ring true. Raum looks to his bodyguard who confirms that these are the rumours. Suddenly Raum understands the intrigue around Deram, and why people get so shady about it around him specifically. They think he has some magic portal into everyone’s closets to go skeleton fishing. Well, if he does, nobody gave him a boat.

So what’s the con’s proof that he knows where the portal is? The con asks for Raum’s house. Raum answers Pikiny. The con, without missing a beat, says house Pikiny still owes a massive loan to house Abellu and is fearful that a legitimate blood Abellu may have survived the Tyrant’s Reign. Raum lets himself be stunned as he realises this has to be true. This guy has sources.

Hey. Raum.

Don’t actually get suckered into the magic portal nonsense.

Rubbing his temple, he exhaustedly flashes the con some hand signs. The way the con’s face freezes, shitting himself, is quite satisfying.

The con smacks his lips, glances about, and hisses: it’s just a gig.

Raum waves his hand. Yeah, yeah.

The con leans back and squints. “Fuck, you have got that look about you." Holy hell, thought you all were dead.

Yeah well I missed the party. Was posted in Ordanz, Raum replies.

The con accepts this with simultaneous shock and total comprehension. He looks awkwardly to Raum’s bodyguard, hesitant to speak with an outsider (of whatever this is) present, and moreover not really interested in staying. Raum dismisses the con, who gratefully scuttles away, with a lazy “aw what the hell mate just get outta here".

Raum slumps back in his seat and looks to his bodyguard shamefully. Never feels great pulling the gangster shtick, doubly so after weeks of not having to. No, rather, what the hell was that?

A failed mugging. But also more. That felt like a guy plugged into a syndicate. One that responds to the name Whitewood.

...If the secret of Deram is that it’s the front for some criminal organisation, Raum’s not sure he wants to probe any further.

At the same time, if it has something to do with his family, he can’t stop himself from wanting to know. Worst comes to worst, if his family did leave behind some scummy gang, investigating it now means he can inform Aquila and dismantle it later. With that justification driving him forward, Raum gets up, and heads to the church.