/int/ - Interstellar

002. Anonymous New IP!

get_fucked_pig.mp3
>he only has 2 soundsacs
>still starts this thread
OP why do you want to die? talk to somebody about it :v
qee'nii'tweel it means hot cloaca sex

003. Anonymous New IP!

>>002
cant have
ONE
fun thread without a
FUCKING
bird coming in to wave their (not) dick around. Still tried Ops
vnmaaekunnzi.mp3
its probably shit

004. Anonymous New IP!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxnzzzzzzzzzzzzzznm
Goodbye Mammals.

005. Anonymous New IP!

>>004
thenix

006. Anonymous

>>004
Every thread has Thenix.

007. Anonymous New IP!

>>004
etht
try1.mp3 ops
try2.mp3 >>002 s
my computeers a piece of shit and doesnt pick up zhxjork so i did that too try3.mp3
ok now that you laughed at me try this "naushecallon". it means seashell

008. Anonymous

>>003
You're right! That was shit! :v :v :v
>>004
>implying im mammalfag
thenix_fucked_too.mp3
another one because Im charitable. Nweet'zwee'uououett it means shoving a newborn egg into the cloaca of another woman when its still warm

009. Anonymous

Actually, now I want to see Thenix try some of these. Paging Thenix for hot cloaca sex >>002

010. Anonymous

>>008
Why do you have a word for this?

011. Anonymous

>>010
id tell you for hot fetish purposes but its actually not :v
when an egg is born premature it can go stillborn if it gets too cold. obv the mother has a loose asshole and cant hold the egg. so you just shove it in someone else and theyre the new mother.
>>007
yet_again_fucked.mp3
guys is this meant to be a challenge? getting kinda bored........ zzz......

012. Anonymous

Comedic_Buzzing.mp3

013. Anonymous

>>012
You're alright Thenix.

014. Anonymous

>>012
LOL
>>007
naushecallon.mp3

015. Anonymous New IP!

>>014 I'm not >>007 but that sounded surprisingly close. Have you taken lessons in Cauleshen before?
>>011 I've heard about this before from a coworker (multicultural workplace). Apparently it's how she had her son. It's still disgusting and still makes me think about seahorses.
Want to see me make the bird shut his mouth?

016. Anonymous

>>015
seahorses.mp3
yeah, me and some friends went to Shaucless on vacation so we picked up some Cauleshen. Dont know SEAHORSES though. Some sciency word?
And
YES
PLEASE
shut the bird up

017. Anonymous

>>015
try4.mp3
wtf is that word
dictionary wont pick it up

018. Anonymous

>>015
WEW look at this guy breaking out the fucking dictionary here :v
well too bad my beak's still as open as ever
obscure_word_smartass_status:_fucked.mp3

019. Anonymous

>>016 >>017 >>018 Sorry everyone. I don't know how you pronounce that word correctly either, so I don't know if I'm allowed to laugh. I could tell you what it means and where it's from, but you wouldn't believe me.
Now here's a word I do know how to pronounce (unfortunately):
Callilux Campanella
I will pay anyone who can pronounce this correctly $10,000. Everyone who pronounces it incorrectly will pay me with their sympathy, for having to say this word multiple times every day. To show you that I am not joking around, here is a picture of me holding $10,000 in one hand and a fast-speed money conversion-transfer unit in the other. Serious_Business.png
I'll know how to find you. Time limit is ten minutes.

020. Anonymous

>>019
try5.mp3

021. Anonymous

>>019
calliluxcampanella.mp3

022. Anonymous New IP!

>>019
internetmoneys.mp3

023. Anonymous New IP!

>>019
itt guy pulls off amazing troll
fuck me for falling for it
10kofbullshit.mp3

024. Anonymous

Valuable_Buzzing.mp3

025. Anonymous

Oh lol Thenix. You tried.
Jdfkshkjsdfjkd.mp3

026. Anonymous New IP!

>>024
Fuck off Thenix you don't need money.
PlayAGame.mp3

027. Anonymous New IP!

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$.mp3

028. Anonymous New IP!

Where_the_fuck_do_you_work_that_you_can_just_throw_around_10k.mp3

029. Anonymous New IP!

fake

030. Anonymous New IP!

>>028
>multicultural
>rich
>obscure knowledge
Ambassador, interstellar legal consultant, or stationed on Kinesis.
Thinking about it more, 100% stationed on Kinesis.
Anyway, Attempt.mp3

031. Anonymous New IP!

>>020
>>021
>>022
>>023
>>025
>>026
>>027
>>028
>>030
Idiots.

>>024
Thenix.

>>019
Successful troll.

032. Anonymous New IP!

Nobody stationed on Kinesis would hang around shitposting on fucking /int/
still posting_in_legendary_thread.mp3

033. Anonymous

No, think about it. 99% of the time on Kinesis you'd be sitting around monitoring AIs. If nothing's going wrong, then you should have free time to kill. The busiest person on the planet is probably the chef. Plus, since there were no rules against reattempts, Attempt2.mp3

034. Anonymous New IP!

PLOP_PLOP.mp3

035. Anonymous

>>034
This is just you crapping into the microphone.

036. Anonymous New IP!

>>034
when i woke up today i didnt think id spend it listening to a recording of someone shitting. Thanks_/int/.mp3

154. Anonymous

BANDWAGON_HO_5.mp3

155. Anonymous

well you got me!! :v having some trouble figuring this one out
so since everyones throwing in multiple tries anyway: here goes the ultimate F.mp3 U.mp3 C.mp3 K.mp3 Y.mp3 O.mp3 U_(2).mp3 U_(3).mp3 U_(4).mp3 U_(5).mp3 U_(6).mp3 U_(7).mp3 U_(8).mp3 U_(9).mp3 U_(10).mp3 U_(11).mp3 U_(12).mp3 U_(13).mp3 U_(14).mp3 U_(15).mp3 U_(16).mp3 U_(17).mp3 U_(18).mp3 U_(19).mp3 U_(20).mp3 U_(21).mp3 U_(22).mp3 U_(23).mp3 U_(24).mp3 U_(25).mp3 U_(26).mp3 U_(27).mp3 U_(28).mp3 U_(29).mp3 U_(30).mp3 U_(31).mp3 U_(32).mp3 U_(33).mp3 U_(34).mp3 U_(35).mp3 U_(36).mp3 U_(37).mp3 U_(38).mp3 U_(39).mp3 U_(40).mp3 U_(41).mp3 U_(42).mp3 U_(43).mp3 U_(44).mp3 U_(45).mp3 U_(46).mp3 U_(47).mp3
if none of these is right then mr. smartass kinesis is bullshitting everybody for kicks. there is LITERALLY no other way to pronounce that shit

221. Results Lord Of The 10,000 Dollars

And that's time. Good job everyone.
Now I reveal that this was all a ruse to harvest recordings of people defecating! ...is what I could say, but I don't need to. None of you managed to get it, and I get to keep my money.
But a few honourable mentions first.
>>030 Bingo. Posting to you live from Kinesis on lunch break. Though, there's something you need to understand.
This job is a circus. You have no idea how much insane stuff happens here every day. I watched a guy die five times last week and come out of it mostly fine. Oh no, did I just leak confidential information!? Nope. Try reading some of the public event logs from Kinesis. You wouldn't believe it.
I have great respect for the cafeteria guy (this slop is amazing and he's not even Ortan), but he is, marginally, not the busiest person on the planet. That esteemed title goes to the Engineering wing's psych.
>>024 Probably the most deserving of the $10,000. But that's cheating, Thenix. I see you over there, bothering our precious Luminary. Are you trying to get him on this website? Don't expose these poor people to that. Or rather, don't expose people to that. Though, thanks for occupying him long enough that I managed a peaceful lunch break today.
>>155 Under normal circumstances you would be correct! However the word in question is utter nonsense invented by a nutcase! I have done all the research I can on the etymology of this word and can assert: it breaks all the conventions of every language involved in its formation, which include the most ancient and obscure in the cosmos.
In case your memetics didn't pick this up, it roughly means 'a beautiful choir of bells' (hah hah hah) and is registered in an esoteric but official small-planet dictionary as a legitimate proper name term. It hold on brb

222. Anonymous

The suspense...

223. Anonymous

yeah anyone who believed this was a moron

224. Anonymous

More anecdotes from work pls

225. Anonymous

I've been thinking to pursue a job on Kinesis, engineering wing. I understand that hiring is tough, but I've done well on my practical exams and am only lacking in cultural sensitivity training. Is that training actually important, or is it just interstellar PC crap striking again? I don't know what it could offer that doesn't get covered by living on a multicultural planet already.

226. Anonymous

this guy just said that looping immortality is a thing and no one gives a shit lol

227. Anonymous

>>226
Terrans OBVIOUSLY

228. Anonymous

>>227
>Terrans

229. Anonymous

>Terrans

230. Anonymous

>Being Plumshitter

231. Anonymous

ib4 plums

232. >>>>>TERRANS Anonymous

One day I was taking a shit. As I sat upon my throne, straining my asshole, I began wondering why did my expulsions carry the odour of sweet perfume? Disconcerted, I turned and sighted that from my derriere there emerged a string of purest plums, overflowing from the wastepool and thriving in defecated abundance. My heart leapt. This miracle would fund my life for 69 eons!
I fell to my knees and praised God, for he had blessed my anus. When I heard a sinister chuckle from behind me.
"Ah what a pitiful creature it cannot see that God smiles upon it not, in fact small thing the only thing which smiles at you is me. But have no fear, I am not offended that you have misidentified your benefactor. It is a common mistake."
So shocked by this statement that I shat two more plums, I cried out. How could I be so ungrateful? My eyes filled with tears as a Terran silhouette floated up, spread-eagled upon the cesspit of plums.
"You see I was passing by when I found mine nostrils assaulted by a most offensive and turgid stench. Determining that this was the reek of your faeces, I took the liberty to correct this flaw of nature. My senses are relieved, and you cheer in gratitude. You are destined for riches and plenty. The wisest thing you have done in your life is defecate in my presence."
"May I be Plumshitter, milord?" I whispered.
"You are he."
I cried tears of joy and feasted upon my assplums, for how many hours I cannot say. I only know that my master and keeper was gone by the time I looked up, and before me stood my orderly.
"Your shit broke the plumbing again Gerald"
I tried to explain but found my throat choked with crap just as the asylum toilet.
"The Terrans are only in your head"
I tried to resist, but my stomach rebelled at the vast cargo of liquidy shit. I puked fragrant diarrhoea over the orderly's shoes.
I cried. I knew it couldn't have been true. Shit streamed from between my teeth as I whispered:
"There's no such thing as Terrans..."
Then I was dead.

233. Anonymous

>Terrans
STATISTICALLY
DON'T
EXIST

234. Anonymous

looping immortality is a statistical error like terrans

235. Anonymous

This is now a Terrans thread. We will never know how that word is pronounced but goddamn we'll fucking shitpost all day about Terrans.

236. TERRANS

2500 = 0

237. Anonymous

I saw a Terran once. I saw a cavity once.

238. Anonymous

>>237
what do terrans actually look like tho

239. Anonymous

>>238
The stuff between your eyes and the screen.

240. Anonymous

THERE ARE MORE PEOPLE IN YOUR COMPULSORY COMMONSPEAK 101 COURSE THAN THERE ARE TERRANS IN THE UNIVERSE

241. Anonymous

What do Terrans do all day?
I know there's so few of them but seriously, they have to have internet or something. What are they doing all day?

242. Anonymous

>>241
Maybe they have lives?

243. Anonymous

>>242
how can they have lives when they dont exist

246. Anonymous

>>241
Everyone memes about Terrans being basically gods, but realistically they're probably too busy struggling to exist (ib4 STATISTICAL ERROR yeah yeah) to be fucking around on messageboards.

247. Anonymous

>>245
It's a legal requirement for any website even if it doesn't have means for user input. I know it sounds fucked up but its seriously not a joke. Source: I own a website.

248. Anonymous

>>247
Source: Your Ass
It's conspiracy theorists like you who make this site such a shitpit. LOL OMG CAUTENLLA EXPLODED NOT BECAUSE OF BAA'ZEN SABOTAGE IT WAS TERRANSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! get fucked fucking fearmonger

249. Anonymous

Look, regardless of what you think about Cautenlla, the internet wide word filter thing is a thing. Try to find any site where any reference to them isn't filtered into something weird, or attempts to mention them aren't automatically deleted. You won't be able to.
You won't find any sites for buying or selling them either, even on deepnet.

251. Anonymous

>>250
more terran deets plzz

252. Anonymous

>>250
>think lol bullshit
>go to kinesis records
>its actually fucking there
what.

253. Anonymous

Someone should do some digging on these Kinesis records.

254. Anonymous

Paging Thenix for news on what's holding up the $10k mastermind

255. Anonymous

>>254
uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh terrans OBVIOUSLY

256. Anonymous

Without Jest It Is Terrans.

257. Anonymous

Camillet Is Berating Him For Usage Of Computers While Eating.

258. Anonymous

'You Will Get Slop On The Screen!' Quote Camillet.

259. Anonymous

'Do You Ever Think About Who Has To Touch That Greasy Keyboard'

260. Anonymous

'Someone Has To Clean That Thing Afterwards And I Am Far Too Occupied To Do It For You' (Simultaneously Standing In Cafeteria During Lunchtime Recess).

261. Anonymous

'Here Just Give Me That' (Repeated With Small Variations x2)

262. Anonymous

$10k Mastermind Surrenders. Camillet Eat Your Lunch.

263. Anonymous

>A TERRAN IS READING THIS THREAD
>RIGHT
>NOW

265. Anonymous

ok terran guy WHAT DO TERRANS DO ALL DAY!??

262. Anonymous

If you're really a Terran then make me shit plums

267. Anonymous

I apologize so much for these idiots. I know people are going to say dumb things about plums, but can you possibly overlook it and mind fielding a few questions? I thought I'd be a billionaire before I'd ever be talking to a real Terran.
I feel like I'm dreaming.

268. Anonymous

HOLY SHIT I CAN HEAR IT

269. Anonymous

the words are glwoing

270. Anonymous

hoooooooooooooooooooooooolllllllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy sssssssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitttttttttttt

271. Anonymous

I feel sick

272. Anonymous

>>244 >>245
!!!!!!DELETE THESE POSTS RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!

273. Anonymous

I can't even read it but I can tell what it means
this is fucked up

274. Anonymous

Why is the thread so quiet?

275. Anonymous

>>274
ARE YOU FUCKING DEAF
IM 5 SECONDS AWAY FROM CLOSING THE WINDOW SO MY EARS DONT BLEED OUT

276. Anonymous

I think he's still halfway up the thread.

277. Anonymous

hes going to see the fucking plum copypasta and leave
good job geniuses you chased away the ONE existing terran

278. Anonymous

Okay. I put blinders on and now I can read this without feeling that my eyes are going to pop. Anyone else following along should do the same.
If he actually gets this far down the thread without all the offensive messageboard bullshit scaring him off (THANKS GUYS)... some questions?
You work on Kinesis? What do you do there? Are there any other Terrans around?
Does it bother you how the media depicts Terrans? Every story I've seen that includes Terrans (which honestly isn't many) either has them as incomprehensible wackos or omnipotent mystics. Personally I'm sick of those tropes.

279. Anonymous

It's like he's not even posting.
He's just making the words appear on the screen

280. Anonymous

HOLY SHIT YOU MORONS
WHO GIVES A FUCKING SHIT ABOUT """TERRAN REPRESENTATIONS IN MEDIA""" WHEN THIS QUESTION EXISTS:
WHAT HAPPENED WHERE A GUY DIED FIVE TIMES ON KINESIS AND CAME OUT MOSTLY FINE? LOOPING IMMORTALITY CONFIRMED?
LITERALLY WAS TERRANS?

281. Anonymous

what do terrans do all day?
meditate on genocide apparently

282. Anonymous

Paging Thenix are all Terrans this killy or is it just him

283. Anonymous

They All Have Capacity To Be Killy But Camillet Is Killiest.

284. Anonymous

He Is Also Slacking So Vigorously That It Is Spilling Into Work Hours.

285. Anonymous

Why do you think people are trying to kill you?

286. Anonymous

hey terran :v quee'lee'lo here
that makes me your mom. when you flip out and explode planets mind not blowing up your mommas house

287. Anonymous

Post selfies

288. Anonymous

You don't sound very happy to be working on Kinesis

289. Anonymous

Literally was terrans

290. Anonymous

hes like both terran stereotypes at once

291. Anonymous

If immortality is possible for you, how can you be scared of dying out?

292. Anonymous

you're sick

293. Anonymous

is this like a common thing
the report for that vertel (vertiel?) think says he got off without penalty because of "psychotic break"

294. Anonymous

>>293
Not him (obv) but it's totally common. Dig around enough and you'll find plenty of cases of Terran psychotic breaks.
If you can get any logs or diaries about people going to the Terran homeworld (aka Terra, surprise), say as part of training to be an ambassador or veterinarian, a recurring theme is how you can feel the Terrans constantly trying to hold themselves back from killing you
They're all insane even by their own standards.

295. Anonymous

postttt selfiesssss

296. Anonymous

What are you doing on Kinesis when your boner is for philosophy
Thanks for helping my planet not be apocalypsed btw

297. Anonymous

pretty gloomy guy huh

298. Anonymous

>>297
tbf I'd be gloomy too if the entire population of my species could fit in an auditorium
It must be like living in a backwater town x1000000000

300. Anonymous

I mean
I always thought the Terran population cap was harsh
But he's going on about blowing up planets and torturing people and OH YEAH IMMORTALITY IS JUST A THING HE CAN DO
I don't know

301. Anonymous

>>300
I think hes just venting
He sounds pissy

302. Anonymous

Every other post is Vertiel Vertiel Vertiel (I thought it was Vertel?)
Is there literally nothing you do except bitch about this guy?

303. Anonymous

>>302
hes lonely ;-;
its ok guy
/int/ is always here for you

304. Anonymous

Vertel is definitely the most visible Terran in the universe, and the reason why we know the jokes about Terrans not existing really are just jokes. This guy in the thread is actually prominent too (run a search for Caph Campanella or Camillet) but everything you'll find refers to stuff after he was stationed on Kinesis.
Secretive Terrans.

305. Anonymous

Also I know how tempting it is to call him Caph but don't do that
Some etiquette thing

306. Anonymous

hes learning the memes

307. Anonymous

The saddest memes I have ever seen

308. Anonymous

;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;-;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

309. Anonymous

You should make friends with Vertel instead of beating him up Camillet

310. Anonymous

get a girlfriend

311. Anonymous

Paging Thenix, how long are lunch breaks on Kinesis

312. Anonymous

You wouldn't guess it from how he's moping around on this messageboard, but he's a political bigshot.
Like BIG big. Anyone who wants to lobby for some cause should try throwing it out there.

313. Anonymous

>>309 >>312
my guess is he's political rivals with vertel.
they could be friends if they weren't both influential

314. Anonymous

Lunch Breaks Go For As Long As Thirty Minutes Ago.

315. Anonymous

Office Productivity Is Up By 15%.

316. Anonymous

'Just Let Him Play On The Goddamn Computer The Wing Hasn't Been This Peaceful In Months' Quote Luminary's Supervisor.

317. Anonymous

Camillet are you being bullied at work

318. $10,000 Mastermind

>>317 He's not, but his memetics are loud enough that you can hear them from across the facility. And he almost never has anything to do, so he likes butting in on what others are doing.
Also, hello. Posting from the office computer since SOMEBODY stole my portable.

>>318
so it comes back to the question
what do terrans do all day

320. Anonymous

I'm starting to get lost about what you actually do Camillet
You can throw around your weight to get people in "your" wing through arbitrary cronyism
So it sounds like you run the engineering wing of Kinesis, and whatever you do is pretty important
Except you have a personal(?) supervisor and overflowing free time
So much that nobody minds if you just dick around on other people's computers

321. Anonymous

I don't know if I envy or pity that

322. Anonymous

>you will never get a seven-figure salary for spinning in an office chair

323. Anonymous

statistically speaking it is an impossible job
good work camillet

324. Anonymous

what the fuck are you doing off terra
how the hell did you wind up here

325. Anonymous

Mystery solved everyone. Terrans spend all their time gyrating on chairs.

326. Anonymous

>>324
Necessity.
Kinesis's generators work without a fault 99.9999% of the time, but if you've ever read into how they work, you'll immediately notice they don't make sense.
Basically, there is a core inside Kinesis that is perpetually creating matter. It shouldn't be possible for this matter to come out of nowhere, but it does. It's suspended in a highly basic solution that degrades the matter, and the creation of new matter to repair it is what creates the energy.
Is the concept. There's other things involved to streamline energy efficiency but that's beyond me.
Predictably, the core's a Terran thing. Camillet can just do immortality and this is the same basic concept. It's super high-speed regenerative immortality on a core of matter.
He needs to oversee the core, and probably tweaks it to make it go faster. But this leaves him without anything to do because he's (I imagine) extremely competent even for a Terran.

327. Anonymous

tbh what baffles me most is we're all agreeing this guy can "just do" immortality like it's no big thing

328. Anonymous

>>327
I dont think many people are in regular enough contact with terrans that they could 1) try to negotiate for it or 2) succeed

329. Anonymous

>>327
well its like no shit

330. Anonymous

Camillet make me immortal
We're /int/ buddies

331. Anonymous

Are you fucking joking

332. Anonymous

HE ACTUALLY DID IT
OURBOYYYYYY

333. Anonymous

>>330
kill yourself and post results

334. Anonymous

literally was terrans

335. Anonymous

God I have blinders on and I can still see the text glowing.
He isn't fucking around, is he? He actually seriously did it
Or I guess I should say that he is entirely fucking around
This is just killing boredom for him
I don't know if it's reassuring or scary that he's so blase about it

336. Anonymous

>he knows your name
>he knows what you look like
>he knows where you live
>he could kill you whenever he wants
>he could give you eternal life whenever he wants
>instead he rolls around on office chairs
TERRANS

337. Anonymous

Camillet real talk
Is this just you or can all Terrans do this?
Because what the fuck.

338. Anonymous

is this legal? like no one is going to get on your ass for this?

339. Anonymous

>>326
Yeah But so? he doesnt have to be on planet
if can can give people immortality from galaxies away over the internet

340. Anonymous

>immortality confirmed was terrans
>mopey terran is here being terrans
>handing out immortality
>only one guy asks for it and as a joke
the denizens of /int/ prove their sparkling ambition and lust for life yet again

341. Anonymous

>>340
It's like playing chicken with a genie
He'll turn the third guy into a mouse or something

342. Greetings! High Executor Vertel of BQ-0758 Kinesis New IP!

Howdy all Netizens of *chan messageboard /Int/ - Interstellar! :)
This is High Executor Vertel of BQ-0758 contacting you from the administrative seat of Terran space quadrant BQ! I am a real High Terran, and I assure you that I do exist!! ...Though I can imagine how hard it must be to believe! I would have never figured that my ventures would ever lead me to this quaint community. :) Life truly takes turns along its journey.
This is my first time using these messageboards! I'm sorry for any mistakes I might make, and would kindly request that you please advise me if there is anything I could change to improve the quality of my posting and contributions to conform to the culture and customs of this forum.

It happens that a report came whistling to my office upon the stellar winds, which told me that one of my dear siblings was participating in online activities!
I know he can be a handful! :) He is a little mischievous and has his idiosyncrasies. All we can do is forgive him. :)
I am only saying this completely hypothetically, but if it happens that he has done anything which could be considered an inconvenience or general mischief, please alert me to your grievances!
Thank you for reading my post! Let's all be good members of this interstellar community together!

High Executor Camael — I noticed that earlier in the discussion, you used a rather impolite epithet to refer to my person. I'm sure you know that that was not very kind of you. In the interests of mutual respect and affability, I would like for you to submit a written apology upon whatever medium we can both agree is acceptable (this messageboard would suffice).
Also, I notice that you are neglecting to utilize the "post" function that is the conventional method of communications for users of this website. Not only can your memetics be rather irritating for others (I spotted a decent handful of complaints elsewhere along this conversation and can reference them if you wish), but this is in violation of the website rules. "Threads" on this website are to default and be expunged once they reach a "post counter" of 999. As your contributions are not "posts", they are not increasing the "post counter" and are artificially inflating the "thread". I am sure that it is a vexing predicament for everyone else.
Please be less disruptive.

343. Anonymous

oh boy

344. Anonymous

Yeah he got in trouble

345. Anonymous

Quick which one has more clout
I need to know who to suck up to

346. Anonymous

>>345
diplomatically Vertel, realistically Camillet

347. Anonymous

AS IF THIS WASNT ALREADY THE BIGGEST THREAD ON THE FORUM
FUCKING
CHRIST

348. Anonymous

bullshit not legit screens not shrieking at me

349. Anonymous

hey vertel. What does it feel like to have mercury in your bones? Also, do you mind fielding questions?

350. First Response High Executor Vertel of BQ-0758 Kinesis

@345: Well, it depends on what context you would mean by "clout"! :)
Camael's jurisdiction is rather absolute when it comes to his fiefs and charges on the homeworld, and he has never been made to surrender any of his authorities! This is quite unprecedented! His command of Kinesis' on-the-ground operations in the engineering wing is also generally ironclad! :)
However, in the sphere of interstellar relations—and I certainly don't mean to brag—I am indisputably the most influential figure! This would refer to all relations with offworlders, which includes yourselves! All planets in the BQ quadrant also answer to me! :) So the administration of Kinesis as a whole is a field more under my purview than Camael's. I hope this answer has helped you understand the careful dynamics of internal and external relations in the context of Terran society.

@346: This is a rather succinct answer! Thank you for your contribution, but I have to feel that there are some nuances that may have been overlooked! :) I sense there may be an implication in this statement which suggests that "Diplomatic" clout does not suffice as "Real" clout. But in fact, Diplomatic clout may be the most real clout there is! Just ask Camael!!! :)))

@347: I am sorry if my presence has disrupted your conversation!

@348: I can assure you that I am High Executor Zubenelgenubi Vertel!
To prove this, I have decided to take a photograph of myself (a "selfie") and "upload" it to the forum: presentable.png. I noticed that some people were making requests earlier in the conversation for such photographs. I believe it was rather cold of my Cassiopeian sibling to withhold picture from you - he is quite handsome, and certainly blessed with enviable genetics! :) By the standards of our species, of course!

@349: I'm sorry, I don't think that topic is one suited for conversation. But I am always open to field any questions you would like to ask! :)

I think it would be an educational experience for our interstellar friends if you explained to them why the epithet you used was highly offensive and not something to say in polite, or rather any, company, Camael.

366. Entreaty High Executor Vertel of BQ-0758 Kinesis

Haha... :(
Ever the jester, Camael. :(
I see that you are ignoring my requests. Though I do believe myself rather lenient, I have to confess that I still have limits. I advise that you do not press them too far.

367. Anonymous

ok everyone
take bets, who wins

368. Anonymous

Vertel, if you want to refer back to a post, click on the post number and it will automatically insert it in yours.

369. Anonymous

>>367
Camillet is my boy but Vertel will win.

370. Anonymous

Vertel's pretty killy too.
I suppose he did blow up a planet.

371. Anonymous

>>368
This made me notice the thread's post numbers suddenly shot up. Fucking lol

372. Anonymous

Vertel is pretty hot
Would fukk

376. Anonymous

I'm curious for Camillet selfies now
I don't think he wants to tho

377. Anonymous

>>376
fuck that give selfies. sources say you're handsome no need to be shy.

378. Anonymous

Dont bully him ;-;

379. High Executor Vertel of BQ-0758 Kinesis

>>368 Gratitude
>>372 Elaborate immediately. What about my visage titillates you? Is it the arrangement of my features in a way that descends from primates? Hairlessness? Bipedal anthropoid figure? Are you sexually attracted to humans?

380. Anonymous

>>379
bby ur blue sightorbs and hawt magical aura just turn me on ;;;;)

381. High Executor Vertel of BQ-0758 Kinesis

>>380 Do not mock me. You are not who I am addressing.
>>372 Elaborate immediately Nimmus Bahhaut.

382. Anonymous

RIP nimmus
shitposted game was 2 stronk

383. Anonymous

>>381
Your pointy ears and slit pupils and sharp flesh-shredding fangs are extremely attractive they turn me on like crazy, the rest of you is just ok, when I said would fukk I only meant the pointy parts

384. High Executor Vertel of BQ-0758 Kinesis

>>383 I see.
Then I appreciate your comment very much... :( Thank you...
I apologize, everyone. I would like to reply to all your posts, but circumstances are preventing me from including proper elaboratinos. Myself and Camael will still do our best to answer your questions considering...
Very fun...

385. Anonymous

its ok you dont have to reply to everyone
seriously you dont have to reply to everyone

386. Anonymous

Vertel, you don't think that associating on message boards could hurt your career? It's not exactly professional.

387. Anonymous

Vertel stop bullying Camillet ;-; hes just sad and wants friends

388. Segment I High Executor Vertel of BQ-0758 Kinesis

>>386 I don't see how it could... In fact, I would say that such abundant interaction with offworlder culture is highly professional in the context of my office. Perhaps I even ought to frequent places such as this more often... :D How exciting the prospect sounds :D
Post continues...

389. Segment II High Executor Vertel of BQ-0758 Kinesis

>>387 I'm sorry, I don't mean to upset you, but I'm not sure how anything that has transpired between myself and Camael over this "thread" could be classified as me being antagonistic toward him. In fact, by my perspective it truly feels that I have been recipient to rather considerable

390. Segment III High Executor Vertel of BQ-0758 Kinesis

degrees of unjustified japery, as well as significant personal insult on a public forum, which I still have yet to receive any apology for. I believe that I have been forgiving, indeed perhaps too forgiving, considering the slights I have faced. Not many people would handle this situation with the

391. Segment IV High Executor Vertel of BQ-0758 Kinesis

tolerance and moderation that I have. Though I am glad to see that Camael appears to have gained himself the amicability of this local community... I sincerely am surprised and impressed :D he can be a little difficult, and I would like to make friends with him as I would

392. Segment V (Final) High Executor Vertel of BQ-0758 Kinesis

like to be friends with all of my siblings, however I believe that an even ground of mutual tolerance and respect is a prerequisite for any such relationship.
Thank you for your questions...

394. Anonymous

kek he's not going to leave until he gets a sorry

395. Anonymous

I just want them to be friends ;-;
why must they fight

396. Anonymous

Vertel, you were thoroughly beaten a week ago in an authoritative bout that you initiated. Show enough dignity to drop it and act like the loser you are.

397. Anonymous

Hes not saying anything about the immortality thing. Hes just steamed that he got shittalked.

398. High Executor Vertel of BQ-0758 Kinesis

>>396 My goodness... You seem to think that you know very much about authoritative bouts... :D
The customs of my people are kept reasonably esoteric. Do you think your position is one scholarly enough to surmout my knowledge of what we do and do not consider kosher? If-you-understood-our-practices-to-the-degree-that-you-are-implying,-then-you-would-know-that-i-am-fully-entitled-to-physically-maim-him-for-this-impudence—not-only-owing-to-the-act-itself-but-for-daring-to-do-so-within-territory-that-falls-under-my-jurisdiction-as-High-Executor-of-External-Affairs—which-I-remind-is-the-seat-commanding-the-second-greatest-position-of-respect-within-our-society-and-deserves-to-be-so-treated-if-only-for-the-integrity-of-the-position-itself-and-what-it-represents-regardless-of-whatever-your-thoughts-of-my-individual-person-may-be-Camael—and-the-only-reason-that-he-is-not-presently-deceased-is-because-firstly-his-contributions-to-the-Kinesis-generators-are-too-invaluable-for-me-to-overlook-with-consideration-to-my-office-bound-responsibility-to-oversee-their-administration-for-you-people-and-secondly-because-i-am-well-and-keenly-aware-that-i-cannot-touch-him-the-premature-freak—frankly-he-is-and-illustration-of-why-stricter-genetic-screening-ought-to-be-introduced-to-the-hatcheries-because-whatever-whim-of-fate-or-fortune-gave-him-these-obscene-memetics-clearly-did-not-bother-to-counterbalance-it-with-compassion-or-temperance—his-birth-is-the-birth-of-a-pigheaded-autocrat-who-has-never-truly-faced-consequences-or-worked-for-anything-in-his-life-and-a-justification-for-the-prejudice-and-fear-universally-held-against-us—his-ascension-to-High-Executor-in-adolescence-is-not-laudable-it-is-a-profane-joke-as-a-child-makes-a-toybox-of-the-world-and-dolls-of-the-people-in-it—to-sate-his-voracious-hubris-as-he-adorns-himself-in-sunlight-and-beauty-and-sneers-at-those-less-pure—as-though-conceit-will-be-a-shield-once-he-inevitably-oversteps-his-bounds—it-is-a-sin-that-the-worst-thing-you-have-felt-in-your-life-is-simple-lassitude—and-that-the-worst-conundrum-you-have-ever-faced-was-whether-or-not-to-deign-to-follow-the-customs-that-for-others-dictate-lives—one-day-you-will-learn-how-it-feels-to-suffer-and-you-will-be-as-ugly-as-you-are

399. High Executor Vertel of BQ-0758 Kinesis

The bitterest joke is that fools will find him more sympathetic.

400. High Executor Vertel of BQ-0758 Kinesis

Were you the only entity in the world, your existence may be tolerable.

401. High Executor Vertel of BQ-0758 Kinesis

If you fancy yourself untouchable, then follow through with your persona and transcend to the gates of our father.

402. Anonymous

woah

403. High Executor Vertel of BQ-0758 Kinesis

Your only virtue is your maternity.

404. High Executor Vertel of BQ-0758 Kinesis

Enough.
Back to more torpor for you today.
Internet privileges revoked, do not even think of sneaking back on.
Perhaps that genius brain of yours will manage to hit on meditations that aren't egotistic.

405. High Executor Vertel of BQ-0758 Kinesis

I apologize for disrupting the "thread".
Return to your plum-based gibes.
:(

407. Anonymous

That was the opposite of making friends
What the fuck you two

408. Anonymous

literally
was
terrans

409. Anonymous

I guess they're gone?

410. Anonymous

Vertel idk if you're still reading this but 99% of the shit that gets posted here isnt serious
you have to take it chill

411. Anonymous

Paging Thenix for ground report

412. Anonymous

so do they need relationship counselling or just counselling

413. Anonymous

What did you learn about terrans today everyone? I learned I never want to be within 20 solar systems of them out of concern for my bodily safety

414. Anonymous

>>413
>implying that's enough

415. Anonymous

>>413
WHY ARE THEY SO KILLY? Wtfffff they're even killy at each other
Actually mostly killy at each other. I kow the way I phrased this sounds dumb but does anyone know for real why?

416. Anonymous

>>413
I learned why the population cap exists.

417. Anonymous

Pilfered Computer Has Been Returned To Its Rightful Owner.

418. Anonymous

'I Leave You To Do Something As Benign As Fuck Around On A Computer
'Something Hatchlings Can Do Without Any Incident At All
'And You Manage To Call The Quadrant's Governor Down On My Ass
'You Fucking Savant'
Quote Luminary's Supervisor.

419. Anonymous

Photo Session Taking Place On Orders From Planetary Governor.

420. Anonymous

I feel bad for both of them honestly, Camillet's too bored to live, Vertel's trying but he just comes off as smarmy, Camillet hospitalizes people just by walking around (threads still quiet as shit considering what went on), Vertel's been through shit too and he was used as a WOMD, they both sound stressed and unhappy, am I missing anything here?

421. Anonymous

>>420
I've been reading through some Kinesis records while this has all been going down.
Last week wasn't the first time Vertel got his ass kicked by Camillet. There's over 97 logs of this spanning 12 years. I don't think Vertel's managed to do anything to him. It's just him getting ravaged over and over.

422. Anonymous

>>415
Maybe you guys caught me commenting here and there around the thread, but I'll just say it outright now: I've been to Terra before for specialized veterinarian training. It took two decades to get approval, I was there for three years, it was an incredible experience, and I'm never going back again. But I did learn a few things about Terrans.

What it boils down to is: territory. They are supremely territorial. They all line off their little zones, they own everything in that zone, and you don't tell them what to do in their zone. Camillet and Vertel are both High Executors, they are at the absolute top of Terran hierarchy, and their zones are overlapping. Camillet technically has superiority over Vertel as the head Human Relations, but Vertel is on ground where he has absolute authority, so he should be getting precedence. But he still feels like Camillet (can't get used to calling him this. Henceforth Callilux) is compromising his dictatorship (you can see why with how this thread went) and lashes out to try and preserve that.

If you're wondering why they have fifty names flying around, it's because that's how they signal to each other whether they are or are not thinking of fighting the other for territory. Terran territorial combats are one of the most brutal things I've seen in the universe. And it's unsurprising that Callilux is constantly winning - aside from being Callilux (he's infamous) - he's in Human Relations and would be dealing with these combats more often than most.

They develop a slew of mood disorders when separated from Landmines for too long, and both of them obviously have. They have intrinsic biological urges to predominate and nanny and neither of them are able to. Vertel is overworked and Callilux is understimulated.

Vertel is tough as steel by virtue of having not committed suicide in this situation.
Callilux is remarkable for not being braindead after a decade of Landmine deprivation.

>>416
This is a more apt statement than you think. This is the kind of mess you get when there's too many of them of the same rank on one plot of land. Without this kind of cap, they would need to spread out further.

423. Anonymous

>>419
i thought this was funny now its just sad

424. Anonymous

everyone's too busy being sad for the fucking terrans that they're forgetting all the casual dressed-up references to murder and explosion of planets
you won't be so sympathetic when a terran pops your solar system and gets off free because of "psychotic break"

425. Anonymous

OK
Why are they both on the same space then?
Someone pointed out before that Camillet could oversee the core remotely. And if not him Vertel could do it instead. Or hand Kinesis specifically over to Camillet. Then they dont have a clash and can do their own things.

426. Anonymous

>>425
Vertel might be too pussyweak to run the core if hes getting his ass beat all the time

427. Anonymous

>>424
Shut up this is interesting
This is fucking politics level 999: double unicorn
save the unicorns

428. Anonymous

>>426
No, don't get the wrong idea.
Vertel is powerful too and would have resolved this years ago by eventually winning a bout. The problem is that Callilux is a behemoth.
It is ethically not permissible for Callilux to be absent from Kinesis.

429. Anonymous

>>428
More info pls?
It sounds like you know a lot. You picked this up just by doing vet school on Terra?

430. Anonymous

>>429
There's not much else to add. My veterinary practice was (obviously) on Landmines, which mean at least two Terrans breathing down my neck always. Or with a little less exaggeration, it was one Terran, who insisted on following me into bathrooms at day, and would swap out with another one to watch me sleep at night. Alongside an AI surveillance vassal.
The region I was practising in was (is) owned by Callilux (practically all the land on Terra with Landmines belongs to Callilux), and my stalkers both knew the guy personally and talked about him. I eventually asked about the fact he was apparently absent from the planet, and they said it was because of some interstellar treaty where court ruled he indispensably needed to be on Kinesis, due to an issue of universal ethics. It was all a pretty fresh affair back then — though I hadn't heard anything about it.
I don't know why they insist on slapping him over Vertel's territory.

431. Anonymous

it doesn't sound very ethical

432. Anonymous

Paging Thenix for deets re:secret(???) interstellar treaties

433. Anonymous

weeeeellll kinesis has been a thing for centuries
and cammilets been there for what
12 yrs say logs?
and vertels like 300 years odl says his wiki page
(terran lifespans lol)
idk where im going with this

434. Anonymous

>>433
Somewhere smart.
Check logs to see when Vertel took over that quadrant.

435. Anonymous

>>434
do it yourself lazy asshole

436. Anonymous

Our Luminary Favours Efficiency

437. Anonymous

gee
That wasn't opaque or cryptic at all Thenix

438. Anonymous

>>433
You can say "centuries" like it's a whole lot, but it's really only 700 years. That's about three, MAYBE four Terrans.

439. Anonymous

>>436
He's so good at running the core that it's unethical not to have him there?

440. Anonymous

OK, Question. If Camillet beats Vertel's shit in all the time how come he isn't leading the quadrant.

441. Anonymous

its kindof anticlimactic that terran politics boil downto bashing each other around like animals
since theyre mystical and junk

442. Anonymous

>>441
Well they are just pointier Landmines

443. Anonymous

Have you ever considered that he may be stationed on the planet with Vertel's consent?

>>441 It cycles around into a form of sophistication once you consider that all 2500 can induce immediate death. The victor is who balances austerity to clemency, ruthlessness to grace. Creativity is also a factor. Nothing sobers you more to your own wretchedness than the sight of your elegant slaughter. These concepts are described in Mazull & Polaris-Deccans (Stardate 8215)

>>440 He never initiates the bouts and wouldn't desire to. This is recorded.

>>435 Please be polite.

>>434 Generalized Stardate 8221, 222 years ago, although he had already been present in the sector for 22 further years. This is recorded.

>>428 I have never seen anyone favour that asinine name before.

>>424 Reparations were given for the incident.

>>420 Describe how Vertel is "smarmy". I find him approachable and even-handed.

444. Anonymous

uh hrm

445. Anonymous

Which means he's been overseeing Kinesis without problems for 200 years. There is nothing, absolutely nothing, which happened twelve years ago that should suddenly mean Camillet needs to be on Kinesis. Has anyone here, ANYONE here, heard anything about their planet getting a significant boost in energy? Or a shortage that needed immediate fixing? Nobody has. And no planet could cover that up. Camillet isn't doing anything that Vertel can't already do or delegate.
So what the fuck happened?

446. Anonymous

its really hard to find information on cammilet

447. Anonymous

maybe Vertel was delegating and the old engineer died

448. Anonymous

>is terrans
>can immortality
>running kinesis
>die
dumb

449. Anonymous

>>448
I was gonn object with somethign but yeah. On second thought it is dumb.
They can call Cmaillet to give the hypothetical old guy immortality then he can do home and do whatever terrans do all day, aka roll around in chairs while staking veterinarians.

450. Anonymous

>>446
For being (what I can gather) the political head of Terra, he has no presence at all. I honestly thought Vertel was their leader.

These are all just shitty bios like you'd get from a report of Kinesis personnel. Saying that he's Luminary whatever-the-fuck and does blah blah blah on the so-and-so floor, there isnt even a picture (shy baby...)

451. Anonymous

Who was the liar upthread going on about him being prominent?

452. Anonymous

>>443
The logic's not impossible for me to understand, but trial by combat as a form of discriminating a power structure is such a dated scheme as to be prehistoric. People call the Ortan warlike, but even we stopped these methods millennia ago. It is simply not effective to brutalize and traumatise people who will (inevitably, in your case) become personal subordinates.
I'm not adverse to the meting of physical punishments. But your species is built like sticks, and a weighting of quicksilver in the marrow is going to dislocate your joints every time you move. You could not die? You were made to contort yourself like a rag while you writhed from burning poison.
That you would ever recover spits on the laws of fundamental sanity. This isn't mental fortitude, it's obsession with self-torture.
Though I admit, an elegant torture.

453. Anonymous

for one thing, those emoticons were pure smarm.

454. Anonymous

I don't think Callilux is a very asinine name
It's actually kind of pretty Vertel

455. Anonymous

>>454 You say this because you cannot pronounce it.

>>453 I fail to see how "smiley" faces, which are expressions of friendliness and openness, could be interpreted as "smarm". They are an important tool for peaceable interaction. I will use one now. :)

>>452 Old adages state that power and corruption come intertwined, as do power and responsibility. Temptation exists in such a malleable world to see reality as fleeting phantasm and phantasm as glorious reality. But this mistake is cause for ruin. Soul falls numb to all beauty but the supreme and names blur into non-significance beneath the weight of perfection.
We are privileged to be born as ourselves, and owe debts to the world that made us. The least of these is respect. Life is not a transient vehicle to gratify our ego, it is our sole opportunity to relish in existence. Disparagement of it and its kingdoms is the sin that dooms the profligate.

Nothing evinces that I am Vertel. All the information presented in my previous "post" is available on public record. The probability of your supposition being correct, statistically, does not exist.

456. Anonymous

like terrans

457. Anonymous

Like Terrans.

458. Anonymous

i
cant tell if he did that on purpose

459. Anonymous

I see... so he has a philosophy boner too...

460. Anonymous

You'll be a top-class memer one day Not-Vertel

461. Anonymous

Camillet was better at memes

462. Anonymous

>>461 Yes. I am aware that he is a nonpareil in the manipulation of memetics.

463. Anonymous

Not-Vertel, your memes slipped and broke the text formatting.

464. Anonymous

Just had a thought. Try searching with the keyword Camael instead?

465. Anonymous

so what
is the #2 top big boss terran going to hang around /int/ shitposting on the regular now? we converted the #1 and #2 boss terrans into /int/elligentsia? thats enough of them proportionally to justify /ter/ - terra general.

466. Anonymous

Vertel posts so seriously that it's actually shitposting.

467. Anonymous

GOD don't JOKE about a terra general.

468. Anonymous

let camillet back on the computer ;-; #savetheunicorns #comebackhome

469. Anonymous

No, I haven't considered that Vertel would consent to this situation. Because he wouldn't.
The psychological burden of this kind of territorial threat would break him and he'd know that. If anything he'd negotiate to hand Kinesis over to an interstellar board so long as Callilux was there. Considering that Kinesis is an interstellar facility, it's strange that it's under Terran jurisdiction in the first place. Whatever happened to make this treaty is intentionally using Kinesis to force them into an authority clash.
I can't believe you're all being taken in by this. It's blatantly Callilux trolling by pretending to be Vertel. If you think he can't imitate another person's memetics, or access the internet without a computer, you're underestimating Callilux.

470. Anonymous

paging thenix photos when

471. Anonymous

>>469
I don't know. That sounds farfetched. Give up the most important planet in the galaxy? Over biological urges?
Really?

472. Anonymous

man i want to trust what youre saying since your one of the like five outworlders whove been on terra but vertels loweky geeky badass so its like your saying he couldnt take it i think he could

473. Anonymous

100% guarantee Camillet's too busy causing some kind of nightmare on Kinesis with his inexplicable selfie aversion to be fucking around as part of a REALLY elaborate Vertel ruse you fucking dunce

474. Anonymous

Photography Session Proceeding With Difficulties.

475. Anonymous

Gravity In The Engineering Wing Presently Inside-Out.

476. Anonymous

>>471
You don't get it. It's not biological urges, it's imperative. They are bred and engineered to be like this. Just the threat of Camillet being on his ground would work as leverage to get Vertel to surrender Kinesis.

>>473
If you don't think he can multitask, you're underestimating Callilux.

477. Anonymous

it is kinda bullshit that the terrans own kinesis

478. Anonymous

Ok SO ethics issu e -> terran monopoly of unviersla enegy generator
ptu cammilet there -> vertle freaks out and says 'ok take it'
BUT
vertels badass -> so eh doesnt do that
now they are sad univorns...

479. Anonymous

How about they stop being stingy bitches and listen when people try to negotiate about it?

480. Anonymous

Kinesis ought to be an unclaimed jurisdiction.

481. Anonymous

>>478
Good job.
Mystery solved, thread over.

482. Anonymous

Do we still want to save the unicorns?

483. Anonymous

>>482
i do ;-;

nullify the treaty and #sendourboyhome

it didnt work anyway

484. Anonymous

What pretext did they use to say Camillet needs to be there? Counter-logiced them and said the leader of Terra ought to be on the most important planet of Terra? I guess it doesn't really matter.

485. Anonymous

GUYS STOP BULLYING THEM

486. Anonymous

>>485
Will do once they stop claiming dominance over a communal interstellar resource.

487. Advent High Executor Vertel of BQ-0758 Kinesis

Howdy to all members of the /Int/elligentsia! This is High Executor Vertel of BQ-0758 Kinesis speaking (in actuality, typing! :) Haha! Humorous!) to you once again!

I recognize that my demeanour in previously exiting the thread could be described as rather unfriendly and terse! I have returned to apologize for my impoliteness, and to present you with topics of discussion that I believe you might find agreeable and/or of interest! I hope that my contributions will be constructive to your forum, and hope that I am not interrupting your conversation! If I am, please tell me! :)

Firstly: I apologize. I am very sorry for the things that I said. I apologize for making insensitive requests for suicidal behavior on a civilized forum! :) I apologize for belittling others and undermining their virtues! :) I apologize for leaving spiteful comments about "plums", which I understand is a reference to an amusing anecdote that is central to the culture of this forum! :) I apologize for making the implication that those who would favour Camael's philosophies are in some way mentally deficient! :) And I apologize for everything else! :) It was wrong of me to do these things, and I sincerely hope to never do them again! :)

To show that my apology is sincere, I request that I may answer any questions that you may have for me, particularly regarding Terran politics and culture! I believe that cultural exchange is an essential practice for establishing peaceful and friendly relations! Please be unsparing! Let me struggle my hardest to sufficiently sate your curiosity! :D

I would also like to make a few comments and responses of my own accord, and as selfish as it is to say it, I hope that you do not mind me doing so! I don't mean to be presumptuous, but I noticed some statements that I believe my knowledge could help explain — although I don't mean to imply that my knowledge is unfailing! I am sure that there are things which I do not know, just the same as everybody! :)

>>468 I am afraid that I cannot answer to your request, despite my desire to! :) Camael is tasked with a highly important designation on the planet of Kinesis, and truly must attend to this role before he might do anything else. Most importantly, it is quite improper that he devote working hours into recreational activities, when anyone else would be subject to disciplinary action for such a thing! Once that fact is taken into consideration, it is entirely justified that he be temporarily banned from recreational access to computers — anyone would do the same! :)

>>469 I can assure that the individual who has been misidentified as being myself, but is not myself, is not Camael! :) I think it would be wise to take into consideration the factors that would contribute to the likelihood of Camael "returning" to the "thread" and then proceeding to "troll" in it, and the manner that he would use to "troll", before presenting such convicted opinions of what is occurring, because potential might exist that your statements could be misleading!
You seem to believe that Camael thinks so little of my authority that he would disobey a direct request from me, and so little of my person that he would, in a hypothetical case, mock me for purposes of entertaining offworlders. I am afraid to say that I do not agree with your interpretation of Camael! :) If he is to mock me, I can assert that is not the rationale behind it! :D I can also assert that he will never bother to visit this messageboard again! :)
I feel that your post carried something of an assumption that the genetic directives inborn in our species - which I will not deny exist - act as greater determinants behind our behaviour than they truly are, or more rather, as greater determinants than the individual beliefs and axioms by which we choose to live, which arise from said directives but are not dictated by them. :)
My personal belief had been that someone who has spent multiple years not only in close association with my people, but underwent that association on our beloved homeland of Terra, would have come to understand our subtleties in some amount of depth. But instead the experience seems to have made you unduly confident. I must confess that I feel you have made statements that are perhaps as disparaging as the epithet slewn at me by Camael. Although I will not request an apology from you, of course! :) I simply wish to inform.
Further, Camael is present on Kinesis with my full consent!

>>471 I appreciate your refreshingly sceptical contribution to this discussion.

>>473 You possess intelligence, but I feel that your manner of speech does it disservice. I do not mean to impose, but I would like to encourage that you be polite!

>>476 If you believe that the presence of my sibling would be enough to make me relinquish territory that rightfully belongs to our people, or that High Executor of Human Relations Caph Camael would permit any circumstances wherein such a transaction would finalize, it shows how little you regard either of us or our offices. :)
You are exacerbating the delusion that torments Camael.

>>477 I would like to delve into an explanation that may help to explain our tenacity when it comes to Terran ownership and sovereignty over BQ-0758 Kinesis, and from that state of mutual understanding, allow peaceable and friendly relations regarding the predicament! :) I do not mean to come across as terse, but I feel that a succinct explanation would be most effective to foster comprehension, and so I request that you please might overlook the prompt yet elegant structure that I am about to use! :)
Stardate 7730 -> BQ-0758 Kinesis does not exist.
Stardate 7731 -> High Executor of Internal Affairs Dalim Artael creates BQ-0758 and Kinesis energy core for convenience purposes of remote energy generation for homeworld Terra.
Stardate 7768 -> Interstellar court rules that the resources produced by BQ-0758 must be distributed to the homeworld of all cognizant races by issue of interstellar ethics.
Stardate 7790 -> Interstellar court rules that the resources produced by BQ-0758 must be distributed to the colonies of all cognizant races by issue of interstellar ethics.
Stardate 7800 -> Interstellar court rules that representatives of all cognizant races must be stationed on BQ-0758 by issue of interstellar ethics.
Stardate 7804 -> Interstellar court rules that the proposed creation of BQ-1223 and Phosphor energy core for convenience purposes of remote energy generation for homeworld Terra be prohibited by issue of interstellar ethics.
Stardate 7805 -> Oversight of BQ-0758 transferred to External Affairs sector.
Stardate 7815 -> Interstellar court rules that oversight of BQ-0758 core activity must be conducted by legal and engineering committees of all cognizant races by issue of interstellar ethics.
Stardate 7818 -> Expansion of residential districts on BQ-0758 Kinesis.
Stardate 7824 -> BQ-0758 population count fulfills legal classification for a minor colony planet.
Starday Any -> The sufficient number of personnel to ensure proper monitoring and distribution of the energies produced by the BQ-0758 Kinesis core remains as one (1) High Terran stationed remotely on Terra.
Stardate Any -> The BQ-0758 Kinesis core requires by absolute necessity the regular ministrations of one (1) High Terran to function.
Stardate 7955 -> BQ-0758 Kinesis predominates as the source of 98% of the energy used by cognizant races.

Please extrapolate implications from this information! :) Camael has!!!!!! :))))))

>>483 The nullification of that treaty means victory for Camael! :) The surrender of this planet is another victory for Camael! :) I feel that the outcome of this "thread" in general is a victory for Camael! :)

To award myself a small victory, and also to answer requests made previously in the conversation that I believe were coldly ignored, I will now post a photographed image of Caph Camael, which he has in fact taken himself (a "selfie")! :) The process to acquire this image was quite considerable, so I hope that it meets to your expectations and that we can all enjoy looking at it together! effigy_icon_avatar.png

I apologize for the long post!

488. Anonymous

I don't get what you're so fucking steamed about
You guys agreed to share so stop bitching about it

496. High Executor Vertel of BQ-0758 Kinesis

Oops! I apologize, it looks like my attempts to alter the forum were a little too energetic! :D Please forgive me! The formatting should be fixed now! :)

497. Anonymous

Why do you things exist

498. High Executor Vertel of BQ-0758 Kinesis

>>497 I'm sorry! :) I just want us to facilitate peaceful and friendly relations! :) I know that Camael can be a little intense! I did not mean anything malicious when I exposed you to a picture of what Camael defines as a "selfie"! But I hoped that it would help you to understand why it is essential that he stays on BQ-0758 Kinesis, and also sincerely wanted to answer to your requests for pictures!
I have also acquired photographs of what I would define as a picture of Camael! As you can see, he is rather handsome. ;) agape.png

499. Anonymous

I'm not clicking that

500. Anonymous

You don't know who you just messed with.
You can expect the litigations to choke you dead, Terran.

501. Anonymous

i want to feel it again

502. High Executor Vertel of BQ-0758 Kinesis

>>500 That is okay! :) I have already contacted the Interstellar Board of Judiciaries and begun arranging a settlement of reparations for the incident! :) If your daughter happens to experience an unprecedented recovery from her congenital arrhythmia — please think of me!

>>501 I can inform that the urge should go away in about a month untreated! :D

503. Anonymous

just fuck off already vertel
you know you did that on fucking purpose I dont know where your fucked terran head gets off on this you're maliciious as a fucking plague, and I cant get the fucking bells out of my ehad and theyre so pretty

504. Anonymous

Vertel. A real question before you go.
Is that what death feels like? If I die, can I feel that?

505. Anonymous

I want to die

506. Anonymous

What are you all talking about?
What happened?

507. Anonymous

cccccccccccccccccccamelli

508. Anonymous

for gods fckign skae dont lokf or thinkn about the flwoers

509. Anonymous

selfie

510. Anonymous

EVERYTHINGS BRIGHT

511. Anonymous

I feel warm

512. Anonymous

I want children. I want to live and raise my children. Then I want to die.

513. Anonymous

why am I alive

514. Anonymous

if I never woke up .that would be ok

515. Anonymous

>>509
?????? agape.png?
He looks like Vertel except pissed off and greener.

516. Anonymous

This is freaking me out. The thread just went dead quiet.
Hello?

517. Anonymous

I think some anons killed themselves.

518. Anonymous

Vertel?

519. Anonymous

Paging Vertel...............?

520. Anonymous

Ok

521. Anonymous

Paging Thenix?

522. Anonymous

'What Do You Mean Assure Sanity For 821 People' Quote Luminary.

523. Anonymous

'I Sense That You Engaged In Entertaining Mischief
'And Excluded Me.'

524. Anonymous

(Luminary Frowns Dejectedly).

525. Anonymous

The Curiosity Will Hound Him Forever.

526. Anonymous

Vertel Has Won.

527. Anonymous

WHAT THE FUCK WAS WRONG WITH ME

528. Anonymous

GOD
ITS LIKE I JUST GOT DUNKED IN A FROZEN LAKE
FUCK
TERRANS

529. Anonymous

they can kill us whenever they want

530. Anonymous

The real fucked up thing is that it didn't feel bad or anything.
Kinda refreshed actually. I'm glad I looked.

531. Anonymous

seriously fuck terrans

532. Anonymous

what
do
terrans
DO
all
day

533. Anonymous

I guess Vertel's gone for real this time. So instead of bitching at him I'll bitch at you.
HEY VETFAG. THANKS FOR PISSING HIM OFF SHIT FOR BRAINS

534. Anonymous

I don't know what Vetfag said that set him off
I don't even know what Camillet said that set him off the first time

535. Anonymous

>>533
look vertel has a stcik so far up his ass hes choking on it when he speaks, he cant take bantz and maybe it wasnt smart to fck around re: kinesis since he runs the place after al.....

536. Anonymous

Do none of you pay attention to court? There's been 114 attempts to renegotiate Kinesis's ownership since Vertel came into power 222 years ago. Bringing up the topic was a terminally retarded move and you all deserved that blast of happy flowers.
Pissed that I got caught in it too thanks to you fucks. But not really.

537. Anonymous

if you have channel 5221 (live court steam) you can watch vertel yanking an out-technicalitying the judiciaries all over the room like theyre his bitches
guy doesnt waste time

538. Anonymous

>>537
He's older than all of them.

539. Anonymous

woah what the FUCK happened in this thread while I was gone
ok no dont answer that. while you guys were busy pissing off terrans (aka "being suicidal") I was getting actual useful digging done, thanks to the ONE guy upthread who said something smart enough everyone ignored it, whiich was to stop searching "camillet" and start searching "camael"
one of the first hits you get is a forum whichcs a whole fucking unicorn ranch (users: 358!!! WOWW!!!!!!!!!) and has this topic from..... wait for it................. TWELVE WHOLE YEARS AGO!!! BAZOOM!!
praise my detective work and discuss....

540. Anonymous

>>537 more like he was memetically accessing the thread while in court

541. Anonymous

wew good job soldier
now we can snoop on the terran board and their terran plots

542. Anonymous

i was joking but there really is a terran plot

543. Anonymous

HOLY SHIT THAATS VERTEL? HE SOUNDS COMPLETELY DIFFRNET

544. Anonymous

What the hell their terran forum is cute
Except for the plots. What are they plotting about?

545. Anonymous

>I haven't met one yet who I feel I could trust, or kept by me when pressed with a choice.
;-; wwho hurt him

546. Anonymous

>I haven't met one yet who I feel I could trust, or kept by me when pressed with a choice.
What a joke. I haven't met a terran who didn't blast me with suicidal insanity either.

547. Anonymous

This is adorable. They have their little terran forum where they chat with each other and their leaders while also shittalking their leaders. They're like a little family.

548. Anonymous

wtb pics of meyers? They sound cute

549. Anonymous

We unironically without any joke actually figured out what terrans do all day
Home renovations

550. Anonymous

i'll be vertel's offworlder friend....
or would be if he wasn't so psycho....

551. Anonymous

this forum is a fucking thousand years old
but i know what im spending my week doing: cyberstalking meyers

552. Anonymous

Okay yeah yeah funny funny look at the terrans being weird on their terran forum. Can we start talking about their SHADY-ASS OMINIOUS PLOTTING now?
I cant figure it out on my own cause its so vague. Camillet had a scrape with fetishists and came up with some plan? He got plotty because someone was jacking off to his feet?

553. Anonymous

Landmine fuckers for $500

554. Anonymous

>>553
this

555. Anonymous

plan Operation Murder Landmine Fuckers

556. Anonymous

>>555
I'd support that plan tbh

557. Anonymous

there's no terran(s) alive (statistically) who'd hesitate a second to support plan Operation Murder Landmine Fuckers
so its not that

558. Anonymous

It's fucking me up how Vertel sounds like he cares about Camillet.
This whole thread they were sniping and insulting each other. What happened?

559. Anonymous

for someone who presents like a smarmy bitter retard in his deep secret history vertel was a guy you could hang out with
camillet was always nuts tho, anyone whod choose pine over mahogany is

560. Anonymous

>>543
>>558
>>559
He's been tortured almost a hundred times by Camillet.

561. Anonymous

I mean you can shit on Vetfag for triggering Vertel but I dont think he was wrong about the territory thing, that one guy zwimzwam was getting unhinged over fucking kitchen design, its probably pissing vertel off/stressing vertel out 100% of the time that camillets on kinesis

562. Anonymous

What happened to Vertel on the 17th?

563. Anonymous

camellia is aa dumb name
dumb girly name
i get why people call him camillet

564. Anonymous

OW WTF
i didnt meant for that word camell... etcetera to have memes
i mean im not terran so not like i could make it meme...
hes names so fucking memey it memes itself
hearing the fucking bells again at least theyre fading on their own

565. Anonymous

>>562
Had a hunch and cross-checked the dates.
Cautenlla.

566. Anonymous

So, what?
This feels like it should be enough information to work it out.
But it's just not clicking.

567. Anonymous

come on /int/elligentsia prove your shit

568. Anonymous

ok so cautenlla was him getting triggered because landmines
thts fine terrans do that
but somehow means cam flips his shit too?

569. Anonymous

Who could hope to understand the mind of a unicorn...

570. Anonymous

Actually, hold on. Vertel's gone through hundreds of years of cases of Landmine fetishists?
And after all that, the only explosion was Cautenlla? Can we be safe to think that, or did other planets blow up in the past two hundred years under shady circumstances that somehow nobody knows about?

571. Anonymous

>>570
It should just be Cautenlla

572. Anonymous

vertel triggered status: nuclear duclear
whatever that tipoff was it mustve been some crazy landmine abuse
so crazy that camillet gets megatriggered too
then what cam thinks of popping the solar system of cautenlla?
the galaxy?
all cautenllan territories?
or he memes a bit and figures out he should be nuking baa'zen instead?

573. Anonymous

It just clicked for me

574. Anonymous

Vertel thank you.

575. Anonymous

>>573
share with the class genius

576. Anonymous

I think it's better I don't

577. Anonymous

>>572
Was it the abuse of landmines or abuse of vertel?

578. Anonymous

>>576
thanks cocktease

579. Anonymous

>>578
You're welcome
Trust me you're welcome

580. Anonymous

FUCK
FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKK
WHAT DID I LEARN TODAY?
DONT FUCK AROUND WITH LANDMINES SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTT
DONT FUCK AROUND WITH TERRANS FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
JUST LET THEM RENOVATE HOUSES ITS ALL THEY WANT TO DO

581. Anonymous

id like to join you guys in flipping out but apparently im too stupid

572. Anonymous

The worst mistake anyone ever made was making high terrans
They fundamentally shouldnt exist
But theres no way to get rid of them

573. Anonymous

>>582
It's strange. They barely exist. They have no presence. I'd never imagine that I'd get to talk to one before today, and I never would've figured that their leader was less than fiver planets away from me. But I can't imagine what the universe would look like without them
You have Kinesis, wormhole drives, terraformers, planet seeds, supernova disruptors, weather tweakers, panacea, quasicases, cornucopia... you could keep going.
It blows my mind how they hand all this stuff out. I'd keep it.

584. Anonymous

>>583
whats so fucking mysterious about it
they can whip shit out of nowhere theyre losing nothing
when they say no oyu know theyre fucking you

585. Anonymous

I wonder if anyone's succeeded in killing a terran before, not trying to imply anything but genuinely curious

586. Anonymous

>>585 Its possible if you catch them off guard & do it in 1 go, theyr also prone 2 suicide so thats exploitable, but mostly tho no you dont kill them, just use law like smoemne respectable theyll listen

587. Anonymous

STOP
BULLIES
STOP
BULLIES

588. Anonymous

>>587
oh shut up. you know youve wondered about it too

589. Anonymous

NOO WONDER VRETEL DOESN'T TRUST OFFWRLDERS GEEEEEEEEEEZZZ

590. Anonymous

You people are sick. Terrans contribute more to the functioning of your society than your leaders and the only thing, the ONLY thing they want is for you to be nice to Landmines. Just stick by that and they're harmless.

591. Anonymous

yeah because vertel didnt pissily nuke this thread with suicide flowers

592. Anonymous

>>591
Did he leave you to commit suicide?
No?
Then no foul.

593. Anonymous

>>590
>do what they say or theyll kill you
kek very harmless

594. Anonymous

>>591
tbf I think he was just trying to make a point
that wasnt a concious attack or anything its just what happens when you see camillets name

595. Anonymous

>>594
so making threats?

596. Anonymous

You know what
I liked it better when we could pretend Terrans didn't exist
Can we go back to that?

597. Anonymous

>>596
sure im down with that
>TERRANS

598. Anonymous

>>>>>>>>>>>>TERRANS

599. Anonymous

there is nothing to fear statistically speaking

600. Anonymous

$10000 man is the apex in trolls
duped anon into thinking terrans existed for a whole four hours

601. Anonymous

>>600
He knew he would keep his money because his bullshit word was invented by bigfoot

602. Anonymous

We never did figure out how to pronounce Callilux Campanella did we

603. Anonymous

>>602
You pronounce it like this:

604. Anonymous

woah
the threads on topic

605. Anonymous

>>603
just got it, kek

606. Anonymous

>>603
lel

607. Anonymous

>>603
Ok he won give him the money

608. Anonymous

Vetfag if you're here heres your chance to atone, tell us how to pronounce Callilux Campanella so we can let this thread die

609. Anonymous

>>608
if vetfags still here ill eat my shit

610. Anonymous

>>609
You better get a bowl of plums ready, Gerald.

>>608
Still here. I know that this is going to sound like a joke, but I assure you this is how you pronounce the lowname of Caph Callilux Campanella. When written in a way that makes its pronunciation more transparent, this is what the word turns into:
Clairescentcandescentchalcedonychatoyancycaritascastitiascampanellacantillate.mp3

611. Anonymous

clairescent candescent chalcedony chatoyancy caritas castitias campanella cantillate
such utter bullshit i could almost believe a terran existed to come up with it
man.
fuck terrans.

612. Anonymous

Amen!